The Leadership Competency No One Talks About: Love
When you think about great businesses, you might think of rapid growth, market dominance, or exceptional culture. Southwest Airlines is one of those rare companies recognized for all three. Under Herb Kelleher’s leadership from 1981 to 2001, the airline achieved 47 consecutive years of profitability—without a single layoff or pay cut.
Forbes summarized his impact this way: “Herb was repeatedly voted as the best CEO in the airline industry. Fortune noted, ‘Kelleher was perhaps the best CEO in America.’ Herb has been called a pioneer, fierce competitor, and innovator. All of those labels ring true, but Herb was more than that. He and the people of Southwest created the greatest success story in the history of commercial aviation.”
Herb’s secret? He led with love. He was known to show up on holidays, working alongside employees, whether loading bags or handing out peanuts. He proved that no task was beneath him. That kind of humility wasn’t just personality; it was love in action.
Why Love Belongs in Leadership
Love means focusing on others. To love is to will the good of another. That may feel counterintuitive for leaders trained to direct and control, but leadership is fundamentally relational. Love at work isn’t about sentimentality; it’s about accepting people as they are and helping them become who they can be.
When you love your family, it feels natural. Loving coworkers or team members may feel different, but the impact is no less real. Leadership programs rarely mention it—have you ever been told to “love your people more”? Yet love is a powerful driver of performance. I know from personal experience that I always accomplished more for leaders who genuinely cared about me.
Trust and respect create influence, but extraordinary leaders know that influence deepens when people also experience love.
Joel Manby, author of Love Works, captured this tension: “Nearly three-quarters of all leaders have a very difficult time using both power and love, especially under stress. They tend to revert to the side they are most comfortable with and ignore the other. If you lead anything or anyone, you're in a position of power, and if you lead with love, you will surprise others.”
Ten Practical Ways to Lead with Love
So what does it mean to lead with love? Here are ten ways to put it into practice:
Empathize. Don’t just evaluate performance—step into their shoes. Show that you understand their perspective, even if you don’t fully agree.
Listen deeply. Pay attention not just to words, but also to fears, concerns, and what remains unspoken.
Support without fixing. Guide, encourage, and coach—but resist the urge to solve everything for them.
Foster joy in work. No one should hate their job. Help remove barriers so people can experience fulfillment.
Coach through wins and failures. Celebrate victories and walk alongside them in setbacks.
Care about family. Know their loved ones’ names, struggles, and joys. Show that you value the whole person.
Encourage passion and purpose. Help connect their daily work to what excites and drives them.
Invest in growth. Create opportunities for learning and change that they couldn’t achieve on their own.
Fuel inspiration. Discover what motivates them and help them experience more of it.
Trust and empower. Offer respect, autonomy, and alignment. Be intentional about earning and sustaining trust.
Leading with love isn’t about perfection. It’s about consistency. Start by choosing one of these areas where you know you could do more. Focus on building that habit, and over time, you’ll discover the power of love in leadership.
Want more? Watch Matt Tenney’s TEDx Talk: Why the Best Leaders Make Love the Top Priority.
If you’d like to explore what leading with love could look like in your context, let’s connect. You can reach me directly or schedule time here: calendar.