3 Leadership Skills That Really Matter
THE LEADERSHIP EDGE NEWSLETTER | Your Guide to Exceptional Leadership
October 2025 | 722 words = 3-minute 37 second read
1. Blind Spots & Derailers – often, blind spots are derailers. Others have to help you see what you cannot see – you are blind to it. Let them open your eyes.
2. The Big Seven are all potential problems. The first is arrogance and lack of self-awareness.
3. It’s Not What You Know… - don’t over-utilize intelligence and experience. Lead with your heart, not your head.
THIS MONTH’S FOCUS
Hello Leaders! This month, I share three game-changing leadership insights. For most of my life, I've been fascinated by extraordinary leaders. My life's purpose is to create more extraordinary leaders and alleviate the suffering caused by those who are not. Let me save you time by boiling down the ocean of leadership concepts into what actually works.
Here's the truth: you can't learn it all. Stop trying. Leadership mastery isn't an intellectual exercise—it's about being authentic, comfortable in your own skin, and consistently practicing the right skills. If this sparks an interest and you'd like to schedule a discussion, you can do so here.
Point #1: Master the Heavy Lifting
Want to become a better leader? You must practice, reflect, and repeat. Leadership is like any skill—it needs repetition. The best leaders don't win because they're smarter. They win through effort, focus, and persistence.
I've observed hundreds of leaders, and the biggest differentiator is how much they practiced and how much they learned from that practice. Extraordinary leaders possess a remarkable ability to connect the dots and apply what they have intellectually learned.
If you struggle with behavior change, ask yourself why. Maybe you haven't practiced persistently. Maybe you haven't reflected deeply enough. Learning to change isn't hard—it just requires doing things you haven't done before.
The only thing that matters is how much you practice and how well you reflect on that practice.
REFLECTION: What leadership skill could I be practicing that I could benefit from the most?
Point #2: Emotional Intelligence Trumps IQ
Leadership has three major components: intellect (IQ), emotions (EQ), and curiosity (CQ).
Yes, being smart matters. But here's what matters more: people don't care how smart you are until they know how much you care about them.
Leadership is a relationship business. Trust and respect come from great relationships, not from being the smartest person in the room. The most common complaint I hear? "My boss doesn't trust or respect me." People can sense whether you care about them. Intellect alone can't engage people's hearts.
Daniel Goleman's research on emotional intelligence changed everything. He identified twelve building blocks across four categories: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.
Without self-awareness, you'll struggle to lead others because you're unaware of what they need from you. And without it, you can't manage your emotions effectively. Bad bosses are often individuals who fail to manage their worst behaviors—they create suffering through control and manipulation because they lack self-awareness.
Anyone can improve their emotional intelligence. If you want to be extraordinary, building your EQ is imperative.
REFLECTION: How could I be more emotionally intelligent?
Point #3: Curiosity Is Your Secret Weapon
My friend Richard Davis, the former CEO of U.S. Bank, told me that, among IQ, EQ, and CQ, curiosity is the most powerful and underutilized.
Why do leaders struggle with curiosity? Their brains work too fast. They figure out where conversations are going before they're over. They know "the end of the story" and stop asking questions.
However, here's the truth: asking interesting and engaging questions is one of the most essential skills for extraordinary leaders. It's fundamental to dialogue and demonstrating that you care. Employees consistently say in engagement surveys that they want more two-way communication—not just being told what to do via monologues or presentations.
Tell-oriented leaders are perceived as controlling and uninterested in others' ideas. If you choose not to be curious, you can't be a great leader. Being curious isn't hard. It's a mindset and a choice. You have to want to understand someone else and their ideas genuinely.
REFLECTION: What am I curious about, and how can I practice that skill?
Ready to practice? These three insights—mastering the heavy lifting, building emotional intelligence, and staying curious—are the foundation for your success. Pick one. Start practicing today. Notice what works and what doesn't. That's how mastery begins.
Dive Deeper:
1. Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence – “one of the 25 most influential business management books” by TIME or Primal Leadership
2. For a helpful self-assessment and sixty-six developmental suggestions – buy Travis Bradberry’s book: Emotional Intelligence 2.0
3. Cracking the Curiosity Code – The Key to Unlocking Human Potential by Diane Hamilton
The Leadership Edge - Sharpening your leadership skills, one insight at a time.